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I do not know much about me except that I'm weird.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

dude...



some good shit (it's kale chips, not weed, man)

So I was sitting here eating chips earlier reading blogs and it dawned on me... doode! How come I never shared this or posted about these kale chips? holy crap these things are so cheap and good!
Kale (it's always cheap this week it's $0.89 a pound, woot)
Simplest thing ever to make.
Wash it, pay dry, rip leaves from the mother stalk, all the way, tip to end, the stem/stalk is super chewy, tough. You dont want to eat that in your chips. If you are frugal like me, I save my good veggie scraps for stock and Kale stalk is so full of flavor.

Anyhoo, here is the recipe for the chips

1 big bunch of fresh kale
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons nutritional yeast (optional, you can add your fun eating junk here)

rip the clean leaves off, put into a big bowl. One tablespoon of olive oil drizzeled in the bowl. I take each leaf and rub it over then place on a baking sheet. The leaves will look shiney, it's not much oil at all. Make sure leaves are not over lapping (i use 3 trays) Then i sprinkle mine with nutritional yeast. I've seen stores make em with parmesan cheese, sea salt, garlic etc but I like mine this way not their way (stick it to the man) Bake at 250 for 25 minutes. I make these all the time. I also save the small crumbs and top it in our air popped corn, egg whites or my homemade (patting myself on my head) yogurt cheese. No butter or salt needed. Da bomb!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

God, for real?

I have the willpower of a fucking rusty sieve.

What's the dealio? Exercising sucks, I get it. Being fat is way suckier. Who wants to sound like their grandpa? I miss him but not enough to channel his grunts of despair when getting up off the floor.
I'm still a frugal, meatless, healthy shopper but because of my lack of cardio, not eating enough throughout the day, having one too many beers and loading up on white starchy carbs because I am an addict to potatoes has done ZILCH for this chick. I know what i have to do but I'm such a pansy. I'm such a BLOB of a limp dying pansy, I am a heavy, dead, blob of flower. That is how much of a pansy I am.

Extremely discouraged... this sucks so bad. Wishing I could say I lost 20 pounds or even 10. I hate myself right now. I hope a goat headbutts me right in the gut at such full force it gives me miracle abs. See? Pansy me, always wishing for the easy magical miracles.