Run, fun bags, RUN!

61 days, that's 8 almost 9 weeks since I started my "healthy living" crusade and nothing... nothfucking? So I fumbled a meal, maybe 3 but I lassoed that wagon back FAST and jumped on again. Prince of peace, I quit smoking, please forgive me! What's with the severe punishment? I'm not understanding what else, short of a fat sucking lipo procedure, I have to do?!?! 

Exercise?? eeew. I had hoped my heavy, fun bags, would have shrunk some by now so that I could do some cardio without any torso, facial and pride damage. Obviously, after stepping on the scale, it's not happening. What is happening is, I'm becoming homicidal.

I guess my walking everywhere because I cant afford a car or the insurance love mother earth so much isn't working.  I walk at the pace of an injured sloth and I window shop, hunt for my kids, trip joggers, talk to myself, pet mean dogs, forget where I am going, jump on passing buses, et cetera, et cetera. so little to no calories are being burned this way. My new addendum for this mission is... to take up running. 

whatthefuck? I scare myself. 

The last time I ran, I was playing kickball for hours and hours and at one point the next day I thought I had passed out with 2 broken ankles and woke up with breast cancer. So I'm dramatic, shut it, (once I was elbowed so hard with such great force that I had a lump for several months that lump became a breast cancer scare till I remembered I was elbowed, that hard with great force, several months before) nevertheless, I was that sore. At least now I know I gotta ease into this running, I'm a jock, thing. Wrestle with a sports bra until it looks like I'm smuggling a log safely against my chest every morning and take it to the streets for a hasty little stroll. Work my way up to a fast walk, then perhaps start skipping till I can trust galloping safely then before we all know it I am running like everyone's buddy, Forrest Gump. Watch me. 

morose, miserable, melancholy, moping Mania on the loose

woke up irritated in many ways today.

1. regretting the shit i ate a couple days ago... so hard to avoid shitty food when out and about. Easy to say "just plan a meal and pack it to go" but  kids and I are fluky and I don't want to change our free spirit of running out whenever we want/can. I refuse to be a stable, organized, mom. ew. I have to get into the habit of saying, no thanks or do you have any grain? Maybe I have to watch this to see why we need to avoid chicken. I already watched the, pre-falling off rocker, Joaquin Phoenix narrated, earthlings. A huge chunk of me, died that day. anyhoo, i'm pissed off i ate so shitty while out. 

chicken maggots,  chicken scrotum skin,  chicken bubbly phlegm, chicken port a potty at comfest in blazing sun, chicken burt reynolds. Trying to initiate some automatic chicken thinking reflexes so next time I say chicken I might vomit on the spot. Yum chicken? NO, chicken diarrhea!

2. why do i blog? i don't have the time for it barely and it's not something i enjoy when i have no followers or people who read it. I'd rather just send a short text of my daily doings to the 2 people who read this shit.

3. Brian has a doctor appointment today and I am terrified for him.
4. I could care less what happens to the ecosystem as long as someone could promise me there was a way to kill all mosquitoes. I don't even want all spiders, bees and wasps dead, just asking for the mosquitoes to die.
5. I have to filter my thoughts & words. I hate that.
I cant keep venting, it's just bringing more bitterness out. Stuff that isn't even related to food and health. Off to walk and search for some imaginary happy gas, sauce or whatever form it comes in. This being down shit is for the birds.

birds everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief...

Of course I would never for the rest of my natural life eat beef, game, pork, or any meat, meat... but if you had already read my overly dramatic post on the parrot attack, I said that I no longer have a problem eating birds. That same night, after the feather fuck attacked me, I ate Wendy's spicy chicken with a smile. I'm not smiling these days. God forbid if a teething baby was to bite me. Club it & fling it on a grill?
 Last time i quit 'the chicken', I just cared about the poor animal. Instead of chicken, I'd have mozzarella sticks, french fries or garlic bread. I didn't eat for my health, I ate making sure no one's mom was in my food. I was also smoking then too so there was no reason to eat healthy.  Now that I'm eating for my health, I think of all the diseases those nasty factory / slaughtered birds have. If I raised my own chicken, I honestly would probably send one off to be butchered every so often. I'd make it special, on birthdays. Happy Birthday Anya, here's your butchered chicken. For now, I wont purposely taunt and threaten fowls or give tuna fishes the stink eye but I will avoid it and murder a cucumber... with my bare hands.

slice in half lengthwise & scoop out  center & seeds, put in bowl

I added 1/4 of a pickle, ounce of feta cheese, chives, green onions

1/2 cup cottage cheese, tablespoon of flax & raw sunflower seeds. 

fold all ingredients together and top hollow cucumber. 

so delish!

I would love to think of other ways/versions of this. I also cant wait to try my second batch of homemade granola, new recipe with natural homemade applesauce instead of brown sugar. 

being a show off

I am so proud of the dramatic change I did in my kitchen. I was not planning on taking silly pictures of my pantry and fridge but every time I open it now to cook or get a snack musical notes float out of it and I am just so PROUD of myself! Wishing I did a before picture but check out my after...

*singing* "here's my lil ol pantry filled with good shit...

 our lil old fridge filled with fruits mangoes, tomatoes, apples, bananas. Not pictured are my 2 veg drawer with Kale, Red, Green & Boston Lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, green onions, squashs...not to mention my basil, rosemary, chives, sweet leaf (like sugar but not) plants and sprouts. 

 Oh but I bet her freezer is filled with crappy stuff, you say? NOPE!!! Sprouted breads (they were on sale so I stocked up, frozen berries, vegetables and a bag of ice (ice maker is broken)

 i dont mean to brag I'm just so amazed that I can grab anything, look at the box and understand what is in it. every word... no lingo chemical shit. I love it!

New recipe I made that didnt go over well with family (but i like it a lot) is Kale Chips.
Wash and dry one bunch of kale, remove stalk and rib. Cut leaves into 1.5-2 inch squares put in large bowl add just one tablespoon of olive oil, a twist or 2 of sea salt, toss it around till lightly coated. lay them flat & bake at 275 for 20 minutes.
(I used preheated stoneware, it doesn't stick so do what you have to for your dish)
Kale is super healthy in so many ways but the only way the family will eat it is if I cut it into skinny strips to blend  in with red lettuce mixed into salads. Oh well one way or another, at least we get all the kick ass healthy benefits from this bumpy cruciferous veggie. $0.80 plus tbsp of olive oil? I can totally afford this!!

This morning I cut up a Macintosh Apple, spread almond butter on one side, dipped it in my homemade granola and I felt so guilty eating it but it's extremely healthy. The kids love it and even Brian who is hard to please or hand out compliments, made a happy grunting noise. 

My beautiful granola... made with almonds, flax, sunflower, pumpkin seeds, rolled oats, honey, wheat germ, currant berries.

all serious and no humor today.. insomnia blows.