bird food

Millet prepared with celery and onion stock, a massive clean salad (arugrula, swiss chard, spinach, peppers, celery, cucumber, shoots, peas, yellow tomato, flax seeds and a sprinkle of nut. yeast) and 2 sweet potato steaks roasted with sesame oil and rosemary. Cracked pink salt all over my dish & I'm actually liking millet these days...

They're not going to be crack-heads

I was having a guilt trip about letting my little chick drink a Fanta Orange today. Then I looked at her lunch, it was so healthy and now we sit and eat dinner it is 100% vegetables and they're chowing it down mmmm-ing and all that good stuff. Fuck it! my guilt is out the door. I snapped a few pictures tho to remember the moment, i guess. My humans eat well enough one pop in a blue moon isn't going to hurt. I just get paranoid of the addiction. I want them to hate it but I also want them to enjoy the awesome sugary orange taste of Fanta while drinking out of a bottle.

Dinner was roasted spaghetti squash topped with onions, yellow squash, zucchini, kale, spinach, garlic and bok choy. Kids ate every bit of it and my chick got seconds. Unreal :)

DIY jizz juice for the face

We've all heard the rumor... Jizz is great for your skin but the last I checked no one wants gonad juice on their face. Fret not! I have a DIY immitation jizz exfoliating vitamin C mask! It hurts so good but don't scrub hard just rub in lightly. Here's how to make the microdermalejaculationbrassion 
1 tablespoon of powdered vitamin C (trader joes or health stores carry the pure powder) with 1/2 to 1 tbsp water (make a paste) I used pure aloe vera from a leaf because my skin is so jacked up. Apply to, duh, face. Avoid, duh, eyes.... leave on for 15 mins till, duh, dries. It burns like a, duh, mother!!! Remove with a soft warm wash cloth it will still burn like a bitch but you will feel so good. Your skin needs this, for real. wowza! I rubbed  plain aloe juice on my face afterwards again... I feel like I just came from womb. so soft!

*retch*

touch my face. smooth isnt it!

jizz

Amazeballs

*romantic music playing*

Pea shoots & amazeballs (hemp and chia coated blueberries) kale, green peppers, spinach with one egg cracked on top, topped with a hunk of feta a side of GF toast and a pom tea. 

I don't think it could get any healthier or delicious than this. 

*sucking face with my monitor*
for now I must bid you adieu, fear not... I will eat you again my love. 

AMAZEBALLS

2 tbsp coconut oil (liquid)

2 tbsp of hemp

1 tbsp chia seeds

1/2 c. frozen blueberries

mix oil and seeds then toss blueberries in the coconut oil will harden and coat your balls with amazing seeds. 

the end.

EGGS

brown onions & green peppers, toss in ribboned kale, wilt some fresh spinach then top with one egg, do your salt and pepper dance & cover. duh. 

TOAST

google it. 

Can I get a woot, woot?

I'm just gonna go ahead and brag about my juicer. Is it possible to really love a machine so much? 

example: I slaved over opening 3 pomegranate fruits today.

All 3 combined made over 2 and a half cups of beautiful ruby seeds

my beauty

okay, the boy is pretty beautiful too

 that's the pulp. that's it. It's the size of a raccoon's turd or squirrel?

My hairy face man and spawns drank down the juice while I ran upstairs and sanded my bumpy face with the turd pulp. 

Ahh, a spa moment.

I really love my juicer. 

-The End

here or there or everywhere?

Everywhere! I wasn't sure which blog this post should be posted to so I went with both.

This is what lack of nutrition, being in the heat and a bad death stench can make my child do...
http://urrrma75.blogspot.com/2012/05/not-for-weak.html

Jesus, take the wheel, I've done it!

I perfected the perfect base for my batches of granola!
The secret is the roasting/cooking ingredients/method. It's the best granola base I have ever eaten in my life and I'm not going to modify it all anymore! Dont believe me? Ask the family passed out on my floor, shaking with happiness. Now that the base is perfected, coming up with the combinations of fruit/flower/seeds should be easy. After countless tries of yummy but mediocre bases, I do declare, that I cant believe I've done this!

look at how perfectly shiny, crunchy, healthy and yummy that base is.
Raw almonds, pepitas & sunflower seeds with unsalted peanuts, flax, toasted oat bran and rolled oats. 

I'll shout the recipe to you as you are falling off a ledge or roof but otherwise this is going to be my family recipe secret for me to pass down (unless you ask Anya, she cant keep anything a secret). I kid, come on over and eat it with me and then I'll share the secret...  aaaand bury you alive when you too, shake & pass out from yummy happiness after eating this. PRO- you'll wake up with the recipe, CON- you're 6 feet under, no one can hear your screams.

I'm disturbing.
xo